woke up five or six times
wind slams a door shut
tweet you are moving
its a few blocks from here
been naked all day
i used to be afraid of you
then i loved you
i cant see w all my blurry
say its ez to chop a tree
improve a life even yr own
feel being washed down gutter
storm over is over
i hold you and you fall asleep
or i fall asleep and you never
wanted to be there
words are mine to forget
i havent even felt like getting high today
the weather is lovely
why do we say how’s it going instead of hello?
why do we say goodbye when what we mean is don’t go?
why do we spend our time buying things?
why do paupers admire their kings?
ashturbate said: My obsession with knowing about rap (genesis to infinity, bc rap'll never end, will it?) and desire to write about it is consistently trampled on by the banality of rap media. I'm very early in my "career" and I'm interning at one of the big publications (read: one of the shitty ones) bc I feel like it's the only way to make $ doing what I care about. How did you keep your soul alive when you were starting out?
You have it backwards. People don’t give you money to do what you care about, they give you money to get you to do what they care about. And usually what they care about is generating more money. Or brand/social clout which is the new and more useless form of money. Either way writing about rap music - or at least writing well about rap music, which is what I think you’re asking about here - is not the most bankable pursuit these days. Yes some Mountain Dew fronted content farm will always be around to give you a little bit of money for a lot of writing but this won’t ever add up to enough to actually constitute a career or even a “career.” (It was never that for me. I kept my soul alive by juggling a bunch of dumb side hustles which allowed me to only take on the work that I cared about and more importantly gave me the option of not taking on any work during the stretches when I stopped caring completely.)
So really it’s a question of what your goals are: If you aspire to have a career in the media then put your head down at your internship and make sure to not fuck up the Chipotle order. If you’re lucky they will eventually offer you a full time paid position and you can continue to not fuck up the Chipotle order every day until your soul dies and the sun burns out. If you want to be a good, caring writer who knows things about rap then just find some time to listen and think and read good writing and write bad writing until you can write good writing. And if you’re lucky someone will pay you for that writing sometimes.
Most people in the world don’t care about anything. Most of the few people who do care about things will never be paid to enjoy those things.